December 2010
19 posts
Shit My Parents Say: Arizona Edition
Dad: Wow! Whoever built this road had some balls!
Mom: What if a woman built it?
Dad: Well, she must have had some big shoulders then.
------------------------------------------
Me: You're on vacation, chill the FUCK out!
Dad: Don't say fuck.
Me: FUCK.
Dad: Don't say fuck.
Me: FUUUUUCK.
Mom: Fuck fuck fuck fuck!
------------------------------------------
Mom: "In-N-Out", is that like "Hot-N-Now"? That's the name of a burger place in Wisconsin.
Dad: They both sound like porn movies.
------------------------------------------
Dad: I don't want to talk on the fuckin' phone! I want to look at the Grand Canyon!!!!
------------------------------------------
Mom: We should have left at like 8 this morning.
Dad: You should have electrocuted yourself this morning?
Mom: No, never mind.
Dad: Zo, did you hear what she said?
Mom: Yes. Because she can hear.
------------------------------------------
Dad: WATCH OUT!!!
Mom: AHH WHAT?!
Dad: That person was headed right for you!!
Mom: No they weren't they were just going into the merging lane! Everything's fine!
Dad: Just remember what Yoda said, trust your instincts.
Mom: My instinct is to slap you!
------------------------------------------
Dad: When I get home I'm gonna Google how many stupid people fall into the Grand Canyon every year trying to get their picture taken.
------------------------------------------
Dad: I'm making farting noises with my hands!!!
Me: Hahaha, why?
Dad: I don't know! Because I can!
------------------------------------------
(in the car after being in a store called Crystal Magic)
Me: Great, now we're gonna smell like fucking hippies all day.
Mom: I didn't see any hippies fucking.
Shit My Dad Says: Arizona Edition
Scene one: P.F. Chang’s
Dad: Why can’t you eat these? (points at fortune cookies)
Me: The guy said they’re not vegan. They probably have eggs in them or something.
Dad: (rolls eyes) Oh the vegan god has to uhhhh… clip the foreskin off the ummmm… hahahaha!
Me: Hahaha wait, what? Where are you trying to go with this?
Scene two: CVS parking lot.
Dad: We forgot to...
Watchsometimes a moms just gotta drop the f-bomb.
WatchDylan and Andrew bicker over Call of Duty.
